November 15th 2025
Die Spitz plays the Ritz, Montreal
Die spitz played the Ritz PDB in Montreal, on an evening that started well enough, but ended in a violent and icy rain apocalypse.
Despite being assaulted by seasonal flu germs, the band still played and did a good job of it.
See Also: Interview: Blag Dahlia of Dwarves
It was a fun but peculiar evening. I’ll try to break it down for you in digestible chunks.
Arrival in the rain
The air was chill, but not freezing. It was raining a wee bit.
I parked my electric bike and stepped into the lineup, outside the Ritz PDB.
Immediately upon stepping into the line, a man struck up a conversation with me. It only took 5 minutes from the moment we met for him to start showing me things on his cell phone.
Bands. Pictures. VIDEOS. A Facebook group!
Please, never do that to anyone.
Slowly, the line started moving.
INCEL, the bartender
The bartender had an angular bob cut, her greasy looking black hair died a piss yellow blond. She was wearing a loose, black shirt with the word “INCEL” boldly written on it in white. The font could have been Corvinus Skyline, that Guns n’ Roses type. It’s vintage. It’s worn out.
“Your shirt’s awful”, I say to her, trying my best to smile. My face is slightly contorted into a light crunch.
“But that’s why I love it. That’s why it’s great, right?”, I quickly add, hoping this new, blossoming client/bartender relationship could be somehow salvaged, mere moments after its point of inception.
She smiled warmly and went to get my beer. When she returned, I had already paid and just like that, our time had come to an end. Oh, but the times we shared! Those last 54 seconds were some of the best of my entire life. Ordering, paying, bad jokes…ah, the memories.
Light as a feather and free as a bird, I set sail from the bar and headed out to sea, into the slowly filling venue.
I will never forget you, INCEL. Never.
Waiting for Babe Haven
By the front of the stage, I met a couple from Ontario. ”Where in Ontario are you from?”, I asked the dude.
”Deep Ontario”, he says, mysteriously.
”Dude, but where? Where in Ontario are you from? Come on, that’s very vague”, I pressed.
”South Niagara”, he answers.
Ah. I now understood his reticence towards revealing his home town to me. It was all so clear.
Mr. Niagara and his blonde, pony tailed partner, who we shall call OnYa LikeAnAssassin, quickly became my new stageward pals.
OnYa was telling me about how she’d like to body surf sometime during the evening and was analyzing the data required to go about this mad business. Over the course of the next minute or two, I would wholeheartedly encouraged her to do this. But I didn’t try too hard. That could discourage her.
I really wanted her to do it. She really looked like she wanted to…
She didn’t end up doing it.
Oh well, next time, Onya LikeAnAssassin! Next time!
Suddenly, Babe Haven was upon us. And they wasted no time getting into the meat of it.
Rage against everything
Babe Haven lined up their targets against the wall, didn’t bother blind folding them, and took out their enemies with merciless vocal head shots.
They were tight, heavy and groovy. I enjoyed watching them play.
A blend of queer punk, riot grrrl, nu-metal, and thrash, the were obviously very socio-politically minded. Additionally, I can confirm that they were sufficiently angry to lay claim to all 4 of the aforementioned musical genres.
The singer, Lily Della Penna, suggested catcallers be shot at some point, blasting her finger guns into the air. This is one of the main things I remember. Catcalling is not cool.
But maybe capital punishment is a tad harsh a sentence?
Or maybe I’m just too high now.
Must be too high.
Die spitz need to consume some Advil and get some sleep
Something To Consume, the second release from Die Spitz, is widely considered a success.
The album proves, beyond any doubt, that this band is without question, very talented and capable of a wide range of styles. I do however, come out the experience feeling they’re a sort of ”master of none” at the moment. While a very good album, I find it lacks the cohesion of the first album.
Gorging on many musical influences, Something To Consume‘s identity isn’t crystal clear.
However, taking the emotional intensity and themes of their first album, they’ve succeeded in delivering a more diverse musical package this time around. In that respect, Something To Consume feels like the perfect sequel to their first effort. It keeps some of the purely 90s, grunge influences of Teeth, while venturing into an equally honest, broader spanning, musical universe.
The song ”Throw Yourself to the Sword”, is an obvious tribute to Austin stoner masters The Sword. They’re an absolute favorite of mine. They’re not to be confused with Québec’s ”Sword”, a Canadian heavy metal band active since 1981, that once toured in support of Alice Coooper, Motorhead and Metallica, in 1986.
During their set, Die Spitz played an even mix of material off of STC and Teeth, as well as a few other tracks like My hot piss and Evangeline.
Chloe de St Aubin’s look when it was her turn to switch from drums to guitar for Punisher, was painful. She had this ”must I really do this” expression written all across her face.
Still, she sang and played. I can imagine how hard it must be to play when you’re in the peak of it.
Cheers to you, Chloe!
Creeps and knights
Not so long ago, the crowd would have to earn the band’s return by singing and chanting. These days, venues have tight schedules and most shows in Montreal have to be over by 11, generally speaking.
So, when comes the time for the band to exit the stage for the ”final farewell”, what seems to be the Die Spitz tour manager, comes out on the stage to address the crowd. If I remember correctly, she came out twice that night, for public service announcements. It was a bit irritating and I felt like I was in high school.
Gently, she declares that the band is sick, so that everyone understands why the band isn’t as energetic as usual. A strange move, motherly even, but ok. The band was playing really well for being in a ghastly, feverish state, so I understood why someone was saying something, I suppose.
She also adds, that anyone who feels threatened in any way, should feel comfortable approaching her or heading to a closed off area by the stage.
Because out there, among you all, she says, and here comes the weird part…there are creeps.
The word went off like a gong inside my head.
Creeps. Where were these creeps and had there been any notable incidents of creepiness?
A peculiar ritual
We’ll never know.
Because, shortly after, the band came on stage and requested that only girls be present in the 3 first rows of humans.
Behind them, boys would stand guard and be ”chivalrous”, defending them from the terrors of the pit, I imagine. I decided I had spent enough time at the front of the stage anyways and didn’t feel like becoming one of the knights of modern day virtue, blessed warrior of the holy queen Eleanor. So I packed my things and took my leave.
I did the only sensible thing available to me at the time: I sailed back to the island where, madame INCEL lived, and ordered another beer.
Leaning on the bar, I could clearly see queen Eleanor’s shining, ruby hair.
With regal grace, she dipped her longsword down, again and again, resting it atop the shoulders of certain people in the crowd, knighting them for all eternity, in the dimly lit locale known as the Ritz PDB de Montreal.
And on this note, they played ”Throw yourself to the sword” and put an end to their difficult, pyrexic existences.
Finally, they would get the rest they deserved.
Highway to an icy hell
Exiting the venue, hellish frozen rain was hitting the streets hard, like munitions striking down from the sky.
I rented an electric bike and sloshed my way to my neighborhood bar, to start writing this article and have a night cap.
The evening was fun, if not interrupted a bit too often, by reminders to be good people.
Read More:
>> Lee Fields at Beanfield Theatre, Montreal
>> Endless Swarm at Lopez, Montreal
>> The Damned at Beanfield Theatre, Montreal
Die Spitz have yet to kick Montreal’s ass proper and incite mayhem, so we’ll be eagerly awaiting the next round.
Maybe next time, we’ll be lucky and they’ll play Foufounes Électriques.
